i'll be fine.

break ups, flake ups.

http://sendables.jibjab.com/view/iMDKykKl9fddkPtj

but if i loved you. it was out of boredom.

                                                   

   only boys cry.

                                                              only big boys cry.

                                     but if i loved you, then maybe it wasn't boring.

i need a job. again.

all i know is that there is a new perspective which appeals more,

 rebirth.

one of these days 

i won't think

when

i hear that sound. 

one of these days 

i will be

past 

recognition.

then again..

I would be sad- avett brothers

I would be sad because you left me all alone.
I would be sad because the lies that you had told.
I would be sad because I got left by a girl that I adore.
I would be sad because the love I had before.

I meant what I said when I said I would settle down with you although I know it's not something that you were asking me to
do.
And I know we are young but we won't always be, so marry me; lets not be that predictable young couple changing, moving on.
But I can tell by watching you that theres no chance of pushing through.
The odds are so against us; you know most young love it ends like this.

Chorus:
I would be sad because you left me all alone.
I would be sad because the lies that you had told.
I would be sad because I got left by a girl that I adore.
I would be sad for all the love I had before.

I meant what I said when I said I would rearrange my plans and change for you.
You know me; I've always been the kind with easy confidence.
Confident enough to honestly beleive that nothing out there stopping me especially not someone who's not loving me.
Now listen here I told you I could live on with out loving you.
I was bluffing then, but it seems that just might have been the truth.
Well my dad told me, "One day son, this girl will think of what she's done and hurting you will be the first of many more
regrets to come."
And he said, "If she doesn't call, then it's her fault and it's her loss."
I say, "It's not that simple see, but then again it just may be."

Chorus:
I would be sad because you left me all alone.
I would be sad for the lies that you had told.
I would be sad because I got left by a girl that I adored.
I would be sad for all the love I had before.
I would be sad for all the love I had before.

craigslist

How does the obvious turn into the oblivious? 
then back again. 

What is more real: 
feelings 
words 
actions 
gestures 
silence 
touch 
distance 
contempt 

How can mixtures of these elements turn obvious into oblivious? 
What makes them change back. 

There must be something true in the old addage -- cutting off your nose to spite your face-- 
and it there is a PHD program (note to self check college catalogues for classes) 
all of my present and prior experiences shoud qualify me for the head of the department or a tenured professorahip --or at the very leas an honoray degree. 

To err is human... but to keep erring in the same situatuions over and over again deserves something -- A Darwin Award is the most likely --except i have not killed myself in these acts soo.... instutionalization it is. 

But all of that being said, I still search out (and to be truthful create from scratch at times) opportunities to gain even more experience. 

So I suffer the consequences of my choices (which are such ingrained habits there is very little brain activity going on to make a concious choice--(good excuse--right?) 

I can't decide if it is worse being in self inflicted emotional pain or the realization that, after the fact (although the situation involves two people-- and the pain is still there) I acted and reacted as if I was the only one hurt. 

This is a long winded and winding way of saying that I am sorry. 

I could say I will try to do better --but that would be a lie-- because trying is bull shit -- I either will or I won't. 

To forgive is devine-- I am not asking for you to grant me absolution for my sins or really asking for anything at all. 

burning bridges